Finding a Focus

Finding a Focus

If you feel lost in your life, try finding a passion or at least something that continually grips your interest. You're never too old to learn something new, and I'm tired of hearing that excuse. I saw one of my old teachers after I graduated and she told me she had no idea she wanted to be a teacher until she was in her 30s. I've seen people graduate from college in their 70s. Age is not an excuse. It's okay to be scared, things that are unknown are inherently frightening for all humans. But if you want to live a life fulfilled, you'll have to take a leap and be okay with looking stupid and having others judge you for it.
I know there are issues with my music, trust me, I'm my worst critic. Yes, my voice sounds like donkey flatulence at times, and the intonation of my guitar was off in a recording, but at least i try. I'm okay with looking stupid in the pursuit of something greater.
For me, music gives me purpose. I have devoted countless hours to it. If I had to guess, over the span of the 10 years since I started playing bass guitar, I would venture to say I've spent at least 7300+ hours ( assuming an average of 2 hours per day ) doing something involving it. I've spent that time learning instruments, writing music, listening to music, recording, producing, mixing, mastering, researching music technology, logistics, learning about the business behind it, building a website, editing videos, designing art, and lately, music marketing.
When things feel bad, I still feel at peace because I know I have this ultimate goal in my life that all things I have done are culminating towards, similar to how planets form from asteroids and various parts of the celestial bodies coalescing into a single point. When I feel stressed or lost, I work on something involving my music, be it art, the music itself, or the website. For example, today I was researching trademarking my brand.
I have failed many times with it too. I have been in 3 bands now: I left two of them, and got kicked out of another. I've written music solo under 3 different names: No Fear In Death, Jaye Ward and the Apprehensives, and now At Least i Try. The first project was too emo sounding and the production was crap. JWatA didn't fit my style but now, I finally feel like I've gotten right, and I'm betting on myself, and my work ethic above all. (some of you who are my coworkers might be laughing when I mention work ethic, but when it's something I care about, I dive in headfirst and strive for a challenge).
It doesn't have to be music for you, and it's not just music for me. If I didn't have music, my goal would be to work as an operator at a nuclear power plant. But whatever your goal is, you need to pick one thing and divert most if not all of your energy toward it
I read this book called Essentialism a while ago, and it said: being pulled in all directions leads to no progress but pushing in one direction does. I highly recommend anyone struggling with a focus read this book.
A long time ago, I also sat down and wrote things that I want most out of my life. I think the most important criteria for me were independence, freedom, flexibility, complexity, and creativity. Being a musician, or at least producer, would allow me to fulfill all of those needs. Try writing down what you require most and looking for avenues that will take you there.
I don't know if this will help anyone, but I hope it does. I was just sitting here, listening to a track that I'm working on and it hit me how important this all has become to me. I just want you all to also feel the same amount of relief that I do when I'm working on a song.
Back to blog